Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
As Susie stammered, my ears perked up. For distraction I called out, Hey Kathy, put on another pot of coffee. Suzy spoke again. The fact is gouging my own eyes out with a ketchup bottle would not have distracted me. A linguistic calamity was eminent. The hair on the back ...
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Almost everyone has bought home exercise equipment at some point in their life, be it a few rusty dumbells at a garage sale all the way to a complicated new home gym.But how many people continue to use it consistently? Here are some uses (that you should never, ever actually ...
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Peter Griffin is one of the funniest, probably the most important characters in the cartoon animation series of 'Family Guy'. He is a Nice, Funny, Fat ass character, who is not afraid of spreading the word of his mind in to the world and change everybody's world. Peter's mind is ...
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2006. IT'S TITILLATING TARTAN DAY! Or, Scots do it with kilts if you please By Theolonius McTavish, a do-it-yourself tartan kilt-maker who's sat on one too many thistles in his career as a jest-in-time technology expert on what makes Scots tick & talk, do the highland ...
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So it's my fifth (and final) year of undrgrad and I am planning on getting my own place; but right before that happens I get an opportunity to rent a house for a total of $750 month, and this includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for it. ...
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There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. Takers might eat well, but givers sleep better at night. Aha!Your humble scribe has had a tough time sleeping lately. I thought it might have something to do with the happiness of keeping pace with a tornado toddler ...
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There's a distinct difference between what can fit in a stocking and what should be put in one. Here are just a few pointers on what not to put in the stockings this year. 10. Fish - Fresh or frozen, this is just a bad idea. 9. 1040EZ forms - ...
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Have you ever just sat and watched a child play, or even several children play at one time. If you have you will catch yourself smiling, or even laughing. They are so innocent at what they do. Studies show that adults are amused about 15 times in a day while ...
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People say, as they get older their hearing is not what it used to be. I have found this to be true for myself. The older I get, and I plan to get as old as I can, the more I hear noises in the middle of the night. Noises, ...
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.<strong>JEEPERS CREAPERS IT'S JULY!-- Odd Events & Activities Calendar for July 2005 --</strong><em>Compiled by: Lady Beatrice Blitterlees & Lord Earl Craboon</em>July is one of the most popular jocund, jocose, and jocular months of the year.In a nutshell, this means one can be jestful, merry, playful and ...
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Lonesome. When Ms. Angelou moved into a designer house in California, she says, nothing worked. Her pictures didn't look right on the walls. Cakes fell in the oven. Curtains fell off the rods. The house, she concluded, hated her. And it wasn't much consolation to realize the house hated her ...
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Want to buy a missile launcher? This decomissioned Soviet FROG Missile Launcher, capable of launching a massively leathal ballistic warhead, was put up for sale on ebay recently.Shiny*Things, the seller of this beast, claims:I believe this is the biggest Petrol Twin V8 14ltr SUV you will find, and will easily ...
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Our education enlarges us.In days of old, when life was bold, And schools owned fields and land, We played serene, acted out our dreams, With nothing dangerous being banned, Now we roll in late, grossly overweight, If we even deign to show our faces, And the clipboard man with his ...
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I wonder if it is purely accident that the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is just a couple of weeks after the Super Bowl? I doubt it. Could it be true that football fans and dog people have many things in common? Let's talk about passion and dedication. Spending many ...
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Getting OlderThese are the views of one person. One and the same person. The only difference is the change of views as the person gets older.Before I leave school - Old people are smelly and wee the floor at old peoples homes. They are always grumpy and tell you off ...
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The internet has recently bloomed with a number of places to post your funny video, creative video, or other clever home made bit of cinematography. Sites such as You Tube and Google Videos are central exchanges of funny videos and other popular video types, and there are also a number ...
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The Hazards of Tossing PigsSaturday, both Jane and Barb had to work. I didn?t see either of them during the day but Saturday night I went to eat at the restaurant they work in. They serve two kinda steaks there. One called the Cowgirl, and one called the Cowboy. On ...
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Bittersweet is the best way I can describe witnessing someone else's hole-in-one. Today, when out repairing my testosterone leak, I witnessed my friend Dudley hit one of the ugliest 8 irons in the history of golf; on #11 of Stone Fairways, a 148 yard, par 3. The ball came out ...
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In the wake of having reported that God told him Tsunami-like storms were likely to hit the U. S. coasts this year, Pat Robertson appeared on his TV program visibly shaken, and announced, God has told me something else, and its something I didnt want to hear. He said, Pat, ...
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Yup that's all I need. I suppose I should explain why... although it's none of your business.
I'll start off with the easy one. I need leg warmers cause I miss them. It's that simple. I miss them and I miss the 80's and I miss Strawberry Shortcake stuff. She's coming ...
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I should've known it. I just should've known it. One day last week I was drinking some coffee and looking over the morning paper. It's the typical workday morning ritual for me, just as I'm sure it is for a lot of ya'll out there. Most times, I can get ...
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This week we're going to cover the subject of weddings from the man's point of view.... That's right, this week we're gonna cover weddings from the man's point of view. And why not? It's June, right? The big wedding month? Well, okay then, let's get down to business. Of all ...
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A newborn infant, who showed unusual promise in the hospital nursery in the modulation of her of coos and cries and was immediately swept from her mother's arms to Harvard University, has now been disgraced as a mere plagiarist. It seems that the infant, commissioned to write an original succession ...
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Over the past two months I have been writing a Christmas story. It is about Santa Claus and the remarkable sequence of events that befell a young girl living on the edge of the rainforest in Palawan, a tropical island where I live. Of course, for such an apparently far ...
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For many years I maintained confidence in my personal identity. I knew exactly who I was and was quite comfortable in my skin. Although, I must confess my skin used to fit me better than it does these days. Recently several things happened to shake this confidence in my person. ...
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